remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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