with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
