So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
