He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
