somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
