Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
