Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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