so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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