Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
