Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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