I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
