i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
