Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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