The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
