She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
