I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize