I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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