he thought i was a dude.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
