North Korea, Best Korea!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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