Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
