note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
