My brain says no but my pants say off.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
