Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
