i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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