We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
