If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
