hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
