Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
