Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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