At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
