the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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