i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
