Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
