WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
