I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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