Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
