I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
