I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
