My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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