She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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