We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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