This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
