I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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