and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize