JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize