Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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