I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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