RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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