i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
