got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
