plz talk dirty to me
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
