I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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