Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
