worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
