hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
