i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
