I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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