her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
