And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
