How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Blood and glitter go together right?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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