We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
