Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so let's talk penis.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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