I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
